Rick Houcek, a regular contributor to the Marketing Headhunter blog, offers seven helpful tips when it comes to mentoring (no matter whether those being mentored are employees, co-workers, friends, kids, etc.).  Rick’s tips include the following:

(1)  Listen more than you speak.  Listen for where the pain is.  Listen for where the dreams are.  It’ll help you make it all about them, not about you.  Listening builds trust, and you can’t be a successful coach without it.

(2) Emphathize. When your mentee has a setback, it’s helpful to share a story of when you faced a similar experience.  And how you rebounded.  When we hear that our heroes have failed too, it serves as inspiration to get back on the horse and ride again.

(3) Help them find their passions.  Not just what they’re good at, but what electrifies them with excitement.  Lots of people have a talent, but don’t enjoy it.  You can help them two ways.  Find what REALLY turns them on.  Or realize the passion they already have for what they do, but just didn’t see it.  Hold up the mirror.

(4) Show tough love when it’s called for.  Good coaching requires delivering bad news, too.  Holding firm boundaries.  Pushing them into uncomfortable terrain.  Saying what needs to be said to move them past their roadblocks.  Taking the risk they won’t come back.

(5) Lead by example.  If you recommend one thing, but do another yourself, you’re done.  Credibility shot.  Game over.  Walk your own talk.  That’s the definition of integrity.

(6) Formalize it.  Schedule regular time to be with your mentee(s).  Don’t let it happen by chance — it won’t.  We’re all too busy.  Schedule consistent, regular time each day or week or month.  Block it on your calendar.  Treat it as one of the most important meetings you’ll have.  I recommend all leaders have coaching meetings — not less than monthly — with each direct report one-on-one.  Unplug the phone, take no emails, allow no interruptions.

(7) Make them write it down. Their passions, their values, their goals, their actions, their deadlines.  All of it.  Don’t accept the flimsy “It’s okay, I’ll remember it” excuse.  That’s BS.  Winners write down their plans and commitments — it shows laser-focused intent.  I’ve told clients for years “If you don’t write it down, you’re just screwing with yourself.  Get serious, commit it to paper, or let’s move on and talk about something that IS important to you.”

Like all tasks worth doing, mentorship — done right — involves a disciplined, structured process.  It ain’t happenstance.

Put that structure in place for those YOU mentor.  Your employees.  Fellow team members.  Friends.  Children.

Yes, leadership from a distance has value.  But limited.

Have the guts to get up close and personal.

Read the whole post here.

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